One day, a patron came up to the information desk to express her disappointment the title "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" was checked out to someone else. She shared, "This book saved my life." I nodded, glad this book had made a significant difference in her life. She mistook my nod and said, "No, seriously, this book saved my life." I had believed her the first time.
She said, "You really ought to get a second copy of this valuable book." She wanted to check it out to help a friend. As a result, I made sure we acquired a second copy. I also had found this title uncommonly helpful.
A number of books on grief provide long, detailed explanations and advice on the processes of grief. In contrast, this book gives you short, easy-to-digest snippets so you're not overwhelmed at a time when you're already struggling. Each two-page spread features a page of straightforward prose on the left, with short poetry or quotes on the right. The poetry connects in a way prose cannot, and vice versa. The authors provide empathy, encouragement, gentle humor and kind advice.
The advice is not of the sort where a cranky teacher admonishes you; rather, it comes in the form of kind suggestions, such as: "you might not want to make any major life decisions right now - this is probably not the right time." It encourages you to go through your feelings while at the same time acknowledging how painful these feelings can be.
This book has gone through several reprints, the authors updating information based on medical and psychological advances, as well as the author's own experiences. I like the fact that with each reprint the authors rotated first authorship - initially Melba Colgrove was listed as first author, then Peter McWilliams, and later Harold Bloomfield.
I like this book. It's certainly helped me through some major losses, both the death of family members and the endings of messy or complicated romantic relationships. I've recommended this book to a number of friends and keep a personal copy on hand, just in case I need to give it to someone.
Qhyrrae Michaelieu is the head of the Reference Department at Missouri River Regional Library.