Your Opinion: Adoptee provides other views on adoption

Dear Editor:

As an adoptee, I read with interest the article about Annette Driver reconnecting with a daughter she had placed for adoption 38 years ago.

I appreciated the words of Driver, "I try to mentor to young people about making good decisions. I just always want young people to be so very careful - because it can take just one situation like that to put you off track, and then it takes many (situations) to get back on." A good lesson for all in countless aspects of life.

However, a couple statements bothered me. First, "If you get the chance - any young girl who's in trouble - keep your child, if there's any chance that you can." This statement was made based on their family's situation - later regret for the decision and the child's adoptive home life. But, to make that blanket statement to any young girl in a similar situation is doing not only the girl a disservice but also the child.

I am grateful to my biological parents who made the decision to place me for adoption. They not only gave me a better life than they knew they could provide, but they also brought much joy and happiness to my mom and dad's lives. I would say there are more situations where the quality of life for the adoptee ends up better than it would have with the biological parents than there are where the child ends up in a less-than-ideal situation.

I believe that most people who go through the time, energy and expense of adopting truly love and want children. The same can't be said of all people who have a baby. Simply being the biological parent doesn't make you the best parent.

The other statement that bothered me was that "Birth mothers already get treated badly." This comment was based on difficulties encountered in finding the child that had been placed for adoption. I know there has been much in the news in recent years about opening up old adoption records. I personally don't believe it is right to open up records from decades ago without the consent of both parties, as the agreement at the time was the records would be sealed.

If both parties agree to have information released, fine; but to change the rules of the game years after the agreement was made is wrong and can destroy lives.