Somehow online dating has become so normal, that offline dating almost seems like a novelty. This is the thinking and marketing approach many dating sites like Match.com are now using, with its newly developed social mixers called "The Stir."
The Stir events, which have been heavily advertised on television, are organized gatherings of Match.com subscribers, and the events include Happy Hour get-togethers, cooking classes, bowling parties, and Tequila tastings.
The online dating site has starting rolling out these events in twenty U.S. cities earlier this summer, including areas like New York, and San Francisco. Match has said the events will be coming to more cities in the near future.
So far, general Internet chatter about the social mixers has ranged from great to less than satisfactory.
Some people attending the mixers said the events were more or less glorified bar scenes, and many who showed up seemed to be completely different from their profile picture and background information. However, others said they felt the mixers were a good experience and they felt comfortable knowing everybody in the room was already single and looking to meet someone.
A few female Match subscribers said they didn't meet their soulmate during one of the events, but they met other women subscribers that eventually became friends.
Not just Match
Match.com isn't the only dating site that's marketing the possibilities of offline dating. Companies like howaboutwe are also trying to get their subscribers to meet-up for a date or just hangout face-to face.
Here's how it works: The site sends profiles to subscribers so you can communicate virtually with someone you're interested in. Once you get to a level of comfort you set up an in-person meeting.
Unlike other online dating sites, where actual dates also transpire, howaboutwe's main purpose is to establish in-person meetings, instead of its members speaking online and hoping a date will soon happen.
This site is also new so our readers have not yet commented on how useful howaboutwe is, but overall customer reviews throughout the Internet haven't been all that great.
One user said that although the site is being promoted on television, and seems very popular, the number of paid users on the website is relatively low.
Since many people that are signed up only have free access to the site, paid users aren't able to have many of their messages read. A good portion of the people they're interested in aren't forking over the necessary amount of bucks to have full access.
Testing the waters
Prices to join the site range from $36.99 for a one month subscription, to $119.88 for one year access, which may cause some people to simply use the free features just to test the Internet dating waters without jumping in.
And they have a right to be cautious, as according to a study published by the University of Rochester, many subscribers are let down by their Internet connections once they meet in person.
The authors of the study found that virtual exchanges and Internet flirting can lead one to be idealistic as it pertains to finding a lasting romantic connection.
"People with strong beliefs in romantic destiny (sometimes called soulmate beliefs) are especially likely to exit a romantic relationship when problems arise, the authors wrote. "And to become vengeful in response to partner aggression when they feel insecure in the relationship."
But that doesn't stop other companies from providing off-line dating services.
This grouper's not a fish
Sites like Grouper, that match people according to their Facebook profiles, have also thrown their hat in the circle of online/offline dating.
The way it works is, once two people are virtually connected they are told to each bring two more friends along on the first outing.
This makes it a three-couple date, which theoretically diminishes any awkwardness associated with a blind date. Because let's face it, even though you've been chatting with someone online for months on end, doesn't mean you really know who the person truly is.
Once you have your two friends gathered, and come up with $20 each - the cost of going on the set-up date - Grouper picks the location, and springs for the first round of drinks for you and the whole group.
The selected venue locations are currently only in New York City, Washington D.C., and San Francisco.
On the other end of the dating scale, you have old-fashioned offline dating companies like Selective Search, which says it's an upscale boutique, personal matchmaking firm.
According to the company website, 48 percent of its clients need only three meetings with a person before a true connection is made, and 34 percent said they meet their ultimate love on the very first date.
These numbers sound a bit padded, but a large amount of people, who can afford it, still use these traditional matchmaking services over online dating sites.
One-on-one
In theory, companies like Selective Search provide a more one-on-one specialized service, and tend to be a better filter against those who misrepresent themselves when trying to meet somebody.
Kenneth, of Chicago, used Selective Search, and initially was completely dissatisfied with the nationwide company. Here's what he wrote in a ConsumerAffairs review:Â
"I thought I would meet women I would want to marry (and vice versa) and would be a huge improvement over Match.com. So I went to Barbie to find the 'one'. The cost? $20,000 for seven introductions and one year of service."
He also wrote: "Girls see all of the SS advertisements, simply sign-up online, and then my 'personal recruiter' picks out a couple of hotties and hopes it will stick! You know what that is? Match.com with a middleman at 100x the cost," he wrote.
Apparently, Selective Search caught wind of Kenneth's complaints and tried to make things better. Almost four months later Kenneth wrote:
"It's been a few months and SS has done a good job trying to make things right. They gave me a new matchmaker and she has set me up with a couple of women. None of them have worked out but I appreciate SS going the extra mile to make me happy."
As with any dating service - whether it be on or offline - you should really not only do your homework before signing up, but also hold the company responsible for not living up to its claims.
Also, be careful not to pour all of your hopes into making a romantic connection through a matchmaking service. Many times people make plans to marry, have kids and live happily ever after before ever meeting someone.
Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean, Shouldn't you meet the right person first, then develop the planning and decision making?
Making the decision first - before actually meeting that special someone - can lead to a bad relationship result.
Remember, neither fulfillment or happiness is synonymous with marriage or a heavy relationship, right?
How they voted
Yes
Yes