It was a sense of relief.
Brad Conway, who led the Jefferson City Lady Jays to a second-place finish in the Class 5 state tournament in 2019, will be retiring as a coach and teacher at the end of this school year.
"Once I came to grips with it, made the decision, it was like a load of bricks were off my shoulders," Conway said. "It frees me up to do more things, I won't be tied down as much.
"I'm not talking about just coaching, it's teaching as well."
Conway said he made the final the decision in the middle of last week. But it was something that first entered his mind after Jefferson City's run to the Final Four last season.
"It came to the forefront about this time last year during spring break," Conway said. "I was thinking about then a little bit.
"Then after the holiday tournament this year, I started considering it more seriously. And then after this season, there was time to step away and think about it even more."
Conway, 53, stressed it is not a health issue.
"Sure, I'm getting a little older and you get more tired some days than you used to get," Conway said. "But I'm still in pretty good health and I want to take advantage of that."
In five seasons with the Lady Jays, Conway posted a record of 118-22. Jefferson City won three district titles in five years, making the quarterfinals once before taking second in the state tournament with a school-record 29 wins in the 2018-19 season.
Jefferson City was 22-4 this season, holding down the No. 1 ranking in Class 5 for much of the season. The Lady Jays finished sixth in the final rankings after falling to Rock Bridge in the district tournament final.
With the school being closed due to concerns about the coronavirus, Conway could not meet with the players to tell them in person.
"I've texted them about it, that's one thing I would have liked to have had the opportunity to talk to them as a group," Conway said. "But these are unprecedented times and you have to do what you can."
Jefferson City will have a strong senior class returning next season. Kara Daly and Sarah Linthacum both earned all-state honors this season, while Hannah Nilges has already committed to play at Drake. Those three were joined by future sophomore Hannah Linthacum in earning all-district honors. All four averaged in double figures in scoring this season.
"Whoever comes in to take over is going to have something pretty significant to work with and build off what we've accomplished the last five years," Conway said. "I think it's a job a lot of people are going to be very interested in."
But making one final run with that talented group wasn't tempting enough to bring Conway back.
"I've had a very good friend tell me, 'You can't let this, this or this decide if you stay or go,'" he said. "That person said I would know when it was time to go, and this is it.
"Being a coach and a teacher is very time consuming, and now I'll be able to do things I want to do when I want to do them."
Conway said he and his wife, Teresa, will continue to live in Jefferson City.
"We love it here," Conway said.
Conway has a career record of 542-245 in stops at Jefferson City, Jefferson: Festus, St. James, Salem, Carrollton and Albany.
Conway, who was inducted into the Missouri Basketball Coaches Hall of Fame in 2018, isn't quite ready to shut the door on returning to coaching some day. But that day won't be any time soon.
"I don't want to say I would never considering doing something down the road, but right now, that freedom sounds great," Conway said. "I'm at peace with it, I'm ready to move on to the next chapter of my life having a lot more freedom."