I was at a New Year's party, Stephanie had fallen asleep in my arms. The other children were off playing somewhere. A woman whom I'd just met that night came up and asked me the question. We had talked for quite some time earlier about adoption. The question was in no way malicious. She had three boys by birth and wondered about adopting a girl. I think she was trying to be honest with me and herself. Yet the question came as a shock, and I don't know how well I answered. Here is my more-thought-out reply.
She was sleeping when the question came,
"Can you really love her just the same?"
I have two boys by birth, you see.
Adoption brought my girls to me.
The question came, no harm intended.
I was more surprised than offended.
Still I didn't know what to say,
To let her know the way —
I feel so very blessed.
Each one is different than the rest.
How can I feel that one is best.
Each one adds something to the rest.
Of course I don't love her like her brother,
I love each one like no other.
I am the proud adoptive parent of two wonderful daughters. I also am the birth parent of two wonderful sons. I wrote the above prose and poem in 1982. I wanted to share my feelings that I had then and still have about the gift of adoption to all in a family during National Adoption Month.