After 20 years of moving around with the military, Cathy and Bill Figgins wondered why they hadn't had more children than their 14-year-old.
The same day Bill walked out of the military services office with information about adoption, the couple received a call from a family asking if they would take in distant cousins.
"We flew out to visit them; we knew of them but had not met them before," she said.
Soon, the Figgins family grew from three to five.
"We had no experience with adoption; we were not aware of attachment issues," Cathy said.
That topic has since consumed the couple, as they moved back to Mid-Missouri after retirement and became a foster home and adoptive parents again.
"We thought we'd like to help kids; being a foster parent made logical sense," Bill said.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Attachment issues are one of the main challenges faced by families who care for children removed from familiar environments.
The Figgins have benefited from the support of the Central Missouri Foster Care and Adoption Association, including specific training on attachment issues.
The Jefferson City-based organization serves more than 1,400 foster children, 640 foster families and 400 adopted children in 13 counties. It provides education, advocacy and moral support, and fills tangible needs.
Mid-Missouri families like the Figgins will meet at 5:30 p.m. today at the Capitol Plaza Hotel for the association's ninth annual Forget Me Not Gala, featuring Missouri first lady Sheena Greitens and the Heart Gallery of Missouri, which exhibits photos of foster children awaiting adoption.
Currently, 130 children in Central Missouri have no home, and no permanent family has been found for them. One of the association's newest programs, Extreme Recruitment, recently was featured in Time Magazine for its success in finding a home with supportive adults for these hard-to-place children.
In addition to benefiting from the association's programs, Cathy Figgins now provides services to fellow foster/adopt families as a play therapist with an office in California.
With figurines on rows of lengthy shelves in her therapy room, children - and adults - may choose what characters or props they want to play with in a box of soft sand. Through casual play, clients often tell the personal stories it might be difficult to share in a traditional setting, she said.
After a career in cosmetology, she went back to school, earning a bachelors degree in psychology and a masters in counseling.
She added certification in play therapy and training in neuro-feedback, particularly because she found it helped her own children.
Around 2009, the Figgins entered foster parent training; one week after completion, they had their first placement.
However, the couple admits they were still naive about what being a foster parent meant.
"We thought one to two weeks," Bill said.
Nine years later, their first placement is still with them, becoming the sixth permanent member of their family.
Other children came and went, some for a few weeks, others for years.
Then they took in three siblings - ages 4, 19 months and newborn. That made four in the home under age 5.
The Figgins eventually adopted two of the girls, bringing their family total to eight.
"To do what needed to be done for them, we decided to take no more (placements)," Cathy said.
That included her intense training in behavioral issues, specifically reactive attachment disorder.
"Many foster kids miss (crucial attachment) early on; you have to parent them differently than the way you were parented," Bill said.
That's why "therapy is my passion now," Cathy said.
Foster parents and regular parents find her play therapy helps.
For children who have been through trauma - even just being removed from familiar surroundings - love may not be enough, she said.
"Sometimes you have to go through their younger ages again to get their brain healthy," Cathy said.
At her house, that includes each child having his turn in her lap as she rocks them, they tell her about their day and she feeds them caramels.
"You have to be willing to change your environment," Cathy said to families considering becoming foster/adoptive parents. "The way I was raised doesn't work. I have no clue what it's like to be ripped out of my home."
The Figgins have made sacrifices - changing their home and parenting style, setting aside comfort to give children a chance, the stress of advocating for their children's best interest, dealing with the family outcomes of taking in other people's children.
"I wouldn't be where I am today without what our kids have taught us," Cathy said.