Tom Brady has officially -- and finally, he insists -- retired from the National Football League. Based on his new movie "80 For Brady," it's also time that he immediately retire from filmmaking.
No one emerges with glory from this syrupy, undercooked story of four elderly friends who are determined to see Brady lead an astonishing come-from-behind win at the 2017 Super Bowl.
A quartet of our finest actors -- Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Sally Field-- are sacrificed for cheap laughs and unearned poignancy. And Brady, an executive producer, sullies one of his greatest triumphs. That hissing sound you hear in the theater is not footballs losing air but an audience deflated.
Screenwriters Sarah Haskins and Emily Halpern seem to have opened a door into exploring loss, obligation and regret in our sunset years, but fumble badly, instead drifting into granny-accidentally-takes-an-edible territory.
Up on that screen is an EGOT winner, multiple Oscar, Tony and Emmy owners, a recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor as well as Kennedy Center and Cecil B. DeMille Award honorees. But they are utterly wasted. At one point Field is reduced to participating in a pointless hot wings eating contest.
There's nothing wrong with silly buddy movies or celebrating age on screen and it's refreshing to see both bundled here. But don't tell us you're empowering the elderly by making them dance The Twist to get past security into the Super Bowl. Add this to the utter misuse of Diane Keaton in last year's "Mack & Rita," and we call Hollywood for illegal blindside blocks on seniors and a loss of 15 yards.
"80 for Brady," a Paramount Pictures release that is only in theaters starting Feb. 3, is rated PG-13 for brief strong language, some drug content and some suggestive references. Running time: 98 minutes. Half a star out of four.
This image released by Paramount shows Rita Moreno, left, and Sally Field, foreground right, in a scene from "80 for Brady." (Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures via AP)
From left, Rita Moreno, Tom Brady, Sally Field, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, cast members in "80 for Brady," pose together at the premiere of the film, Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2023, at the Regency Village Theatre in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
This image released by Paramount shows Jane Fonda, from left, Sally Field, Lily Tomlin and Rita Moreno in a scene from "80 for Brady." (Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures via AP)
This image released by Paramount shows Glynn Turman, left, and Rita Moreno in a scene from "80 for Brady." (Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures via AP)
This image released by Paramount shows Jane Fonda and Harry Hamlin in a scene from "80 for Brady." (Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures via AP)