Local LGBT students find support in one another, allies

Finn Stout,18, is a transgender male originally from Michigan, but he moved to Jefferson City this past year for his senior year of high school. Stout got involved with the Gay Straight Alliance in school, which he found to be a comfortable space for him to discuss LGBTQ topics. Stout is a believer in the phrase, "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and strives to teach others about his experience as trans and hopes to lead others to be more accepting of identities they are not familiar with.
Finn Stout,18, is a transgender male originally from Michigan, but he moved to Jefferson City this past year for his senior year of high school. Stout got involved with the Gay Straight Alliance in school, which he found to be a comfortable space for him to discuss LGBTQ topics. Stout is a believer in the phrase, "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and strives to teach others about his experience as trans and hopes to lead others to be more accepting of identities they are not familiar with.

Issues surrounding the LGBT community have been in the spotlight lately, particularly in schools. However, it can be easy to lose track of individual students' voices in the cacophony.

This past spring, bills designed to define who can use what restroom or locker room were floated in the state Legislature. Lawmakers heard emotional public testimony from transgender students and their families and other advocates. In many ways, their testimony tried to make legislators understand and accept the realities of the transgender community as much as trying to protect transgender students from the harassment they feared the proposed laws would have generated.

The Catholic Diocese of Jefferson City also found itself as the subject of public debate recently as it created guidelines to, whenever possible, admit students and families from lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities and other "non-traditional" backgrounds into its schools. The diocese had to balance that desire with the church's strict moral teachings on sexuality and gender, but even that act of moderated outreach made some diocese members uncomfortable.

"At my old school, there wasn't any kind of GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) or anything like that. And I knew a lot of people that were LGBT, but you never knew for sure because there wasn't a place where people could go to feel safe and talk about things. And then in Jefferson City, there was," Finn Stout said.

Stout, 18, graduated from Jefferson City High School in May. He plans to go to Stephens College to study musical theater in the co-educational professional conservatory program. "My dream is to be on Broadway, but I also plan to get a degree in education so I can teach, either music or theater, or both," he said.

He's the middle child among four other siblings, all but one of whom live out of state. He spent his senior year in Jefferson City after coming to Missouri from Michigan.

He's also a transgender male; Finn is not the name given to him at birth or read at his graduation.

"I came out as transgender in August of 2016, and I started school as Finn, and not as who I used to be. It was really cool, and I told people when I got really close to them, 'You know, I was born as female.' And they didn't care at all, and I was really excited. I got to build who I am now throughout the whole year at Jefferson City. It's been a crazy journey."

He said most of his family accept his being transgender.

"It's just an adjustment, because after you've seen this person (in one way) for so long, it's hard to change that view. I understand that. I'm not going to be like, 'You guys have to call me Finn today; it's unacceptable that you don't,' because they saw me as who I used to be for a long time. I think they'll probably have an easier time with it once I start hormone therapy and stuff like that, because I'm going to change a lot, and they're finally going to be like, 'Oh, this is real, and it's happening.'"

Having those personal supporters outside of school doesn't make his life easy all the time, though.

Stout said, "A lot of people just assume that I have no idea what I'm talking about," when it comes to being transgender. People tell him he's going through a phase or a cultural moment he'll get over in a few years, "'and if you do anything permanent, you're going to regret it.' I just wish people would take time to think (that) I know who I am.

"I mean, there are still things that I'm figuring out; I'm 18. I'm not perfect. I don't know everything about myself, but there's a lot of things that I do know about me that I have always known about who I am. And one of the things that I've always known is that I don't align with being female. It's just not me at all."

GSA at school gives him a space to be himself and talk in confidence with LGBT peers and fellow students who are allies - straight people who are willing to stand up with and for their LGBT peers and otherwise offer support.

Spenser Bartholomew, the 17-year-old co-president of the club last year, added, "I think being an ally is an extreme responsibility, just because there is so much negativity (against LGBT communities), but you have to work to make sure people are uplifted and are feeling confident being who they are."

Stout said of GSA, "It helps to know that if you say something, you know that at least three or four other people are going to back you up with it. Even if they're not in that classroom right there, as soon as we have our meeting and talk about it, something is going to happen. They're going to help you with it, whether it just be to talk about it or maybe go do something about it."

He said one of the things the student-run, self-funded club did in the past year was host a clothing drive, as there were students who talked about not having access to clothes that matched their gender identity.

It may seem like a trivial need, but outward expression is an important part of how Stout displays his masculinity to the world, even if others don't notice. "When I dress - the way I dress, the way I style my hair, the cologne and stuff I use is all chosen so that I can represent who I am, and a lot of people ignore all of those signs."

"I think it's extremely important for me, and I think that it opened a lot of doors for people to talk to, as well as making me more aware of other people who I didn't necessarily know anything about. I've made a very large group of friends because of it and also just a really nice, strong teacher connection with Ms. McKee," Bartholomew said of what GSA means to her.

Rhiannon McKee is the club's sponsor and supervisor, as well as a teacher of biology and bio lit, an integration of biology and English. She's been the club's sponsor for all of her seven years at JCHS, and she's also a co-adviser for Student Council. An information packet on all clubs provided by the school district explains GSA is active in all Student Council club events and also plans projects to educate students about LGBT issues and combat homophobia and transphobia.

Last November, McKee told the JCHS student newspaper, "Red & Black," that "this year is bigger than it's ever been during my time" for GSA.

Bartholomew said educational outreach is important to garner support for the LGBT student community because "a lot of people probably don't even know what a GSA is. That was a big thing when I was stepping into (the) co-presidency."

She said GSA has a spot on the school's club wall where they leave pamphlets for people to pick up. "We don't get to have announcements or anything because we're not a co-curricular club, and so I thought it was so cool that we were able to have the representation on the club wall."

She explained, however, GSA's presence is not always accepted by everybody. "The little brochure would get flipped around so it wasn't even visible; you couldn't see anything on it, or covering it with other club signs and things like that."

"It's not like a huge act of oppression or anything, but it's definitely not a nice feeling," she added.

In his year at JCHS, Stout said, "people would call me names every now and then, which is kind of expected. You just have to brush it off and move on."

He doesn't want to hide who he is. "I think education is really important in getting people to understand (but while) also accepting that some people are never going to listen," he said. He's fine being asked most questions, and he said watching people learn is something that gives him satisfaction.

"I think it's OK to take time to figure out who you are for a while before you speak, but I think it is an important thing to stand up and speak for people who are too afraid to do it," he said.

For other people in the LGBT community, Bartholomew said, "I think everyone needs to be proud of who they are."

For everyone else, she said, straight people too can play important roles in supporting people and looking out for them. "Whether or not you respect it or like it, I think it is good to just recognize and appreciate that people are different, and people are allowed to be different."