Although it's only natural to view the search for a new love interest through rose-tinted glasses, it might be wise to reconsider this bright outlook if you are seeking your soulmate online. Unfortunately, some dating sites have been known to attract scammers who would rather find a quick payday than the perfect mate.
Your counterfeit Romeo or Juliette might claim to be an American who lives nearby - yet the truth is - they sometimes live overseas, and specifically target their victims. According to the FBI, scammers may scan profiles and select women and men in their 50s and 60s who are divorced or widowed. The FBI reports victims may feel rejected or past their prime.
Scammers operate under the assumption flattery might get them everywhere. They might contact you via the online dating site and immediately lavish you with compliments and even professions of love after barely getting to know you.
Once what feels like a sincere, emotional connection has been cemented over the span of weeks or months, the scammer may report a sudden crisis. He or she might claim to be stranded while traveling abroad, or have a sick child in desperate need of medical intervention. The scammer will tug at your heartstrings in hopes he or she can loosen your purse strings as well. You would be wise to walk away as soon as any request for money pops up from the scammer, because the pleas for help often will not end there.
Worse than facing the embarrassment of being seduced out of cash, you could get roped into international money laundering or mail fraud schemes, which put you at risk of losing not only your money but freedom as well.
In another kind of dating scam, victims will meet someone on a particular dating site, and then be asked to move the conversation to another medium, be it through text messaging or direct emailing. The romance scammer may quickly take the chat into an intimate direction, and even ask to exchange graphic pictures. After the scammer has gathered enough possibly embarrassing material, he or she may threaten to post the victim's conversation, private photos and contact information online unless a certain amount of cash is paid. If you do choose to date using modern means, consider the following advice for using online dating sites:
Do your homework. Find out about other members' experiences by reading customer reviews. Also, check a BBB Business Profile of the service by going online to www.midmobbb.org or by calling 573-886-8965.
Beware of suggestions to take the conversation elsewhere. Online dating sites routinely monitor and boot members who display strange behavior, so scammers will want to quickly move their conversation to a different digital medium. They might say, "My membership on this site is almost up. How about if we text or communicate though our personal phone/email?" Moving off-site allows the scammer to take his or her operation to the next level.
Be cautious of those who lead online lives of the rich and famous. Romantic schemers might plaster their online profiles with stolen photos of exotic cars, mansions, and other trappings of wealth to impress you and get your guard down for their future loan request.
Watch for communication difficulties. A foreign scammer may be unfamiliar with the English language, and it will show in messages and email. Grammar, syntax and spelling may all be inconsistent and incoherent. If your match has trouble putting a sentence together, you might have reason to be suspicious.
See refusal to meet face-to-face as a red flag. It should strike you as odd if a love interest professes his or her desire for you, yet can never meet in person. Many scammers work out of foreign countries, despite profiles claiming they live nearby. Their photographs may also be of someone else, and that would be tough to explain in person. Commonly, when you propose an in-person meeting in a public location, they will come up with some excuse for why it can't happen: They are traveling, stationed overseas or have some long-distance emergency.
Never wire money to a stranger. Chances of recovery is slim to none.
Sean Spence is the Mid-Missouri regional director for Better Business Bureau.