Wedding season is quickly approaching, and it can be a stressful time for everyone involved.
It is easy to get caught up in registries, extravagance and a preconceived notion of festivities, which often hinders your ability to enjoy a celebration of two people in love.
Whether you are giving traditionally or taking more of a modern approach to gifting, know your generosity is always appreciated.
Registries aren’t cop-outs
If you typically look for something unique in a gift, kudos. However, do not underestimate the value of functionality.
“My favorite gifts were those ones that are not fun to give: silverware, pizza cutter, Tupperware, towels and mixing bowls,†said Jefferson City resident Holly Nunn, whose wedding was this past October. “It makes you feel like an adult to have new items rather than your parent’s hand-me-downs. I am now and forever will be a boring wedding gift giver.â€
Wedding registry alternatives are growing in popularity, allowing couples to fund anything from cars to a honeymoon to their favorite charity. Wanderable, a website allowing the couple to choose activities for their honeymoon, makes for an itinerary as unique as the newlyweds.
Stephanie Voertman, of Columbia, also liked how easy the website was for her guests to use. She and now-husband TJ Hilderbrand funded their Germany honeymoon using Wanderable.
“This way it was a win-win for everyone because we got what we wanted, and guests didn’t need to go out shopping,†she said.
It even inspired Voertman’s maid of honor to use the site for her own upcoming wedding.
Outside the box
The couple who already has everything may appreciate a donation made in their name. Local and wide-ranging charities often have Amazon Wish Lists that allow you to purchase and ship much-needed items directly to the charity. The couple will greatly appreciate the thought you put behind such a personal gift, and the charity will greatly appreciate your help.
Old superstitions recommend the bride borrow the undergarments of a woman who had recently given birth to bring fertility to the marriage. While this may no longer be customary to many, the idea of the couple’s future still stands.
If you are close to the couple, look for gifts that will support their values or put them closer to their own goals. A devout couple will cherish that intricate cross you found at a vintage market over anything they put on their registry. If you know the couple is scrimping by to save for a new home, cash may be appreciated more than anything else.
Within your means
If the entire wedding season has you feeling blue because of the amount of green leaving your bank account, remember there is not a hard rule on how much you must spend on your gift — the cost-of-the-meal notion is antiquated.
Determine what you feel comfortable spending on the wedding before you purchase anything. The usual rule is to divide that budget — 60 percent should go to the wedding gift and the rest should be split between the bridal shower and bachelorette party, if you are attending them. If you are attending multiple showers for the same bride, you only need to purchase a gift for the first shower you attend.
The familiar wedding saying (“Something borrowed, something blue …â€) usually leaves out the closing of “and with a sixpence in her shoe.†It is always appropriate — and usually welcomed — to give cash as a wedding gift.
If you are attending a wedding based in a culture that is different from your own, do research on monetary customs surrounding the culture. For example, in Hindu cultures, it is good luck to give in values ending in one. The bride and groom likely will greatly appreciate the time you took to do your research of their culture.
Some rules still apply
If you are the lucky couple receiving the gifts this wedding season, remember to thank all of your guests, even if you didn’t need that blender. The Emily Post Institute states all thank-you notes for showers should be sent within a few days of the shower, and wedding gifts should be met with a personalized note sent to the giver within a month of your return from the honeymoon.
Beautiful nuptials have recently been met with extravagant weddings and high-pressure gift-giving for attendees. But it doesn’t have to be that complicated.
“My favorite gifts were the beautiful weather, the leaves that seemed to fall from the trees at the exact right moment and the love that was shared between all who were present,†Nunn said of her recent wedding.
Weddings are a celebration of a person marrying his or her best friend; everything else is just a bonus. You were invited to share in a loving, intimate moment where your presence should be far more important than your present.