Police wives share in service-minded attitude

Wives and families of California, Mo., police officers met at the Moniteau County Courthouse in August to take this picture showing their support for their husbands and fathers.
Wives and families of California, Mo., police officers met at the Moniteau County Courthouse in August to take this picture showing their support for their husbands and fathers.

CALIFORNIA, Mo. -- Dawn Benboom saw the frustration in her husband, Hunter, when he watched his friend become a police officer. Hunter's dream had been to follow his father's footsteps, and at the time, he was working for the Missouri Department of Corrections, instead.

"I convinced him it was the right time - before we buy a house or have kids," Benboom said. So the young couple lived on one income after Hunter quit his job to complete his training.

Hunter joined the California Police Department on Sept. 7.

"He's happy," Benboom said. "He helped me get through nursing school, so it was my turn."

Other California police wives knew they were marrying into law enforcement, like Hannah Harkins who dated Scott, an Emergency Medical Technician who eventually became a dispatcher and then officer. Also, Angel Embry met her husband, Dale, when he was a police officer in Boonville.

Samantha Wilson has been with Rafael Ayala since high school, moving into the career life with him.

And Alena Ward, wife of Police Chief Mike Ward, came from a military family, so when her high school sweetheart chose his career, it wasn't much of a lifestyle change, she said.

In August, these wives of California police officers got together with the wives of Moniteau County Sheriff's deputies to show support for their husbands with a Facebook photo.

Their picture quickly reached the national police wives Facebook page, which excited many of the officers and their families. Other community law enforcement agencies have received similar support in recent months.

"It's important that they know that someone has their back," Wilson said.

Harkins said she hopes such a gesture might raise awareness in the community that its officers "have families and are human like everyone else."

"Our guys love their community and their country; they're just trying to serve," Ward said.

Embry agreed: "(My husband) doesn't go to work wanting to make someone else's life miserable."

Bad things happen, Ward acknowledged. However, police officers act with the intent of making their community better, she said.

Since the incident in Ferguson in 2014, these local wives have noticed a growing negativity toward law enforcement nationally.

However, locally, they've also noticed more positive moments.

"More people approach him now and say they appreciate what he does," Embry said.

Benboom agreed, civilians in restaurants on several occasions have offered to pay for officers' meals.

They appreciate those gestures and hope the community will take note of the many good acts and positive contributions California officers make.

For example, Harkins said she was proud of the department for hosting an active shooter drill at the school, preparing teachers about how to best protect children in case of that kind of emergency.

Also, they attend as many ball games as they can to be there for the community, Wilson said.

Although Harkins was born and raised in California, it's her husband, who grew up in Springfield, who knows more people in town.

"That's really interesting, I think," Harkins said.

Embry said in the 20 years her husband has been in law enforcement, she has received a call several times asking for a blanket or stuffed animal or another form of comfort for individuals who he's providing assistance. One time, he found a lost child and went door-to-door to find his home, she recalled.

"He's willing to give you the shirt off of his back," Embry said.

Ward agreed local officers are vigilant to go above and beyond to help.

Once Wilson's husband responded to a domestic incident where a toddler was on the scene. He shared a teddy bear from his police car, which seemed to help the child.

"That kid knew the cops were not there to do bad but to help," Wilson said.

Regrettably, a shift in public perception seems to have moved from looking up to police officers to viewing them as authority figures or "bad guys," Ward said.

"It drives me crazy when I hear parents use "I'll call the cops' as a threat," Wilson said.

These California policemen want to be approachable role models for local children, she said.

At home, these wives show support for their husbands by being flexible when unexpected calls come in, sharing the service-minded mission, and taking care of family and particulars when the officers have to be on duty.

The hours can be tough for families, Benboom said.

"At the drop of a hat, things can change," Harkins said.

However, in the end, "we believe in what they're doing," Ward said. "That makes it easier for them when they have our support."

"I'm proud every time I hear the Velcro, when he straps on his bullet-proof vest," Wilson said.

Harkins agreed, she can see the pride in her girls' faces when they see their father in uniform. In fact, anyone they see in police uniform, the girls think of as "Daddy's friend," she said.

Embry's husband has worked very grim and disheartening cases. And although he has to keep his composure on the job, she is proud to see his emotions at home, that "he hasn't become so hardened by what he sees every day."

"My husband's attitude is "he is for you,'" she said.

Verbalizing the officers' motives may be easier for their wives. However, the officers speak with their actions, Ward said.

"They do this because they care and want to help," Embry said.