The 11 stick figures on the back of their full-sized passenger van catch a lot of attention.
Alexa, 16; Arianna, 15; and Andrew, 14, are siblings and the first to join the Gray home. Those who followed chose new names to fit with the trend - Anakin, 12; siblings Ash, 9, and Austin, 7; and siblings Axl, 6, and Alexander, 5. The latter's younger brother, Aiden, was named by the Grays, who were with the birth mother for the delivery.
Eric and Heather Gray began as foster parents after they learned they could not be biological parents.
Like many couples, Eric expected they would only be foster parents. But Heather quickly became attached to the children placed in their home, and they decided to adopt.
"His feelings changed when the children came," she said.
Finalizing their ninth adoption in July, Heather has made each adoption a special occasion with its own theme, like "Star Wars," "Avengers" or Olympics.
While they celebrate their new permanence, the Grays also are open and willing to talk about the transition and loss of the biological parents, she said.
"I believe it takes a village," Heather said.
They have friends who will drop off gifts from bicycles to bags of clothing on their front porch. Their pediatrician and dentist go out of their way to advocate for, support and accommodate the large family's needs. The Grays also have found support from Capital City Christian Church.
"People are amazed in this day and age that we have nine kids," Heather said. "By the grace of God we have been truly blessed."
She admits money is tight. But they work at making the best possible experiences for their children.
The Central Missouri Foster Care and Adoption Association has been a great help with that.
"The resource center has been a phenomenal help for the kids to go to camps," Heather said.
In the association's basement, the Grays have benefited from donated clothes and school supplies. The resource center also has helped them cover school fees and other necessities, like music instruments and uniforms.
If a family needs something specific, as the Grays needed a bunk bed recently, the association sends out an email to other families. Then they help fill each other's needs.
Document set
Springdale wards plans
The Grays got a bunk bed. But many times they are able to give back, pulling outgrown clothes from their closets or infant furniture no longer needed.
"It's not a handout, it's a hand up; it's all about the kids," Heather said.
If a family has a question the resource center doesn't have an answer for right away, the staff will work to find one. If they can't fulfill the need, the association will at least point the family in the right direction, Heather said.
"They always know the next step to take," she said.
The association began in 2007 as a small support group founded by a former foster youth and foster and adoptive parents. Now, it is a multifaceted organization that provides direct support, education, services and advocacy to foster and adoptive families in 13 counties, serving more than 640 foster families - totaling more than 1,400 foster children - and more than 400 adopted children.
In 2013, the association became an official partner with the Missouri Department of Social Services.
The association helped sign up the younger children for the Toys for Tots program, hosts monthly meetings, provides training to fulfill relicensing requirements, and keeps families informed for inexpensive things to do in the community.
Other services through the resource center include advocacy and crisis services, Begin Again Backpacks, food distribution, haircut vouchers, cooking classes, a resource library and a visitation room.
The Transition program provides children near to aging out of the system at age 17 a mentor and extra support to have a successful start to adulthood.
The association "is always looking for people to support us," Heather said.
"I am so thankful for them every day."
The Grays, who have been involved with foster and adoptive parenting for 15 years, are now in a place where they can answer questions of younger families, too.
And they try to pass on the spirit of receiving graciously and giving back cheerfully. Recently, the family delivered a platter of cookies to the police station and hope to do the same soon for the local fire station.
"Every chance we get, we try to pay it forward, even just a kind word," Heather said.
How to donate
In order to be tax deductible, checks must be made payable to the United Way of Central Missouri and the United Way must retain the right to specifically determine who the donation will benefit.
The United Way will establish "A Christmas Wish" fund, and donors can give a gift "in the name of" someone specific, or a United Way partner agency.
A volunteer committee will oversee the distribution of these funds.
If you want to help fill a Christmas wish, mail checks to United Way of Central Missouri, 205 Alameda Drive, Jefferson City, MO 65109. "News Tribune Christmas Wish Fund" should be noted on the memo line of the check.
Questions may be directed to Ann Bax, president of United Way of Central Missouri, 636-4100, or [email protected].
This United Way partner agency's financial documents and most recent audit can be seen online via the following link:
Central Missouri Foster Care and Adoption Association financial documents