Alfreda Simms spent much of her life ignoring racism in public places.
The Jefferson City woman is black and lived during the Civil Rights movement. To avoid tension, she said she had to move on like nothing happened, like she didn't hear the hateful words others spoke.
"You learn to live with it," Simms said.
But she didn't have to hide her feelings on Thursday inside First United Methodist Church during a senior adult discussion on race. The event, hosted by First United Methodist and Quinn Chapel AME Church, attracted about 60 seniors, mostly from local churches. Time Out, a gathering group for seniors, and Faith Voices of Jefferson City, a faith-based organization that holds talks on race, also collaborated for the discussion.
Jeannie Martin Dudenhoeffer, pastor at First United Methodist, and Rev. W.T. Edmonson of Second Baptist Church facilitated the conversation, posing questions about patrons' past interactions with race. Stories abounded from blacks and whites - many going back to the idea that while the groups were separate, they were never equal in terms of the government, law or society.
One black woman told how she had to sit in the back rows of the theater or its balcony. Another talked about living in a "sundown" community where black residents were required to be inside their homes before sunset. In high school, a black woman said she was recommended to be on a homecoming court, but was denied the chance because a black queen was unheard of.
Dorothy Clemons of Jefferson City talked about how her parents taught her to judge people by their character not their skin color, even as they faced discrimination.
Many of the white participants said their interactions with black people were limited in their youth because of segregation. Margaret Tyler and Pat Wall, both from Jefferson City, talked about their introduction to race relations as children, and how they couldn't fully comprehend why there were differences in how blacks and whites were treated.
Tyler said before she could drink from what was marked as a "colored" water fountain, she was pulled away. Wall said she was a little girl when she heard talk of a black family denied service at a restaurant in her small town.
"The feeling didn't seem right to me," Wall said, reflecting on how she felt as a child.
Some stories shed light on the darkest moments during that time: a participant talked about lynchings in her town. Others detailed how white families taught their children not to discriminate, and women remembered being taught the saying: "Red, yellow, black or white, they are always precious in His light."
Edmonson said the discussion on race was a way for seniors to speak out on a typically uncomfortable topic, even as they live through another wave of national racial unrest.
"Seniors have lived during a time in this country, depending on how old they are, that racism was sanctioned by the government," Edmonson said. "Though they might not have felt inclined to be that way, law and practice forced people to operate in a manner that may not have comfortable with them. It may have been against their moral judgment, but because it was the law of the land you kind of went along. Everyone may not have been strong enough to go against the grain."
Those who were, he added, faced ostracization.
Anna Holman, a participant in the discussion, said she heard stories of when people couldn't act on their morals and fight against racism because of societal views.
"(This) gives people a chance to express their beliefs that counteract their experiences," Holman said.