Gold Star mothers offer mutual support

Family members gather at grave of Jamestown area Marine

Gold Star Mother Donna Axelson places flowers at the memorial to Lance Cpl. Leon Deraps while other Gold Star mothers Maureen Murphy and Cindy Dietz-Marsh wait their turn.
Gold Star Mother Donna Axelson places flowers at the memorial to Lance Cpl. Leon Deraps while other Gold Star mothers Maureen Murphy and Cindy Dietz-Marsh wait their turn.

CEDRON, Mo. -Three Gold Star mothers met with Sandy Deraps Thursday at the memorial for her son, Leon.

"We all have something in common," Deraps said.

The mothers - Maureen Murphy, Donna Axelson and Cindy Dietz-Marsh - were in Mid-Missouri as honored guests of Jefferson City's Operation Bugle Boy, a dinner to honor veterans, along with fathers Cordell Axelson and Dan Dietz.

These are the parents of the three men lost in Operation: Red Wings during June 2005 in the Hindu Kush Mountains of Afghanistan. The battle was featured in the recent book and movie "Lone Survivor" by Petty Officer Marcus Luttrell.

Although they have received national attention, the loss of their U.S. Navy SEALS - and the 16 U.S. Army airmen and SEALS who were part of a rescue attempt- is no more important than other servicemembers killed in action, said publicist Michelle Mallin.

That's why these mothers sought out Deraps and made visiting her Marine's gravesite a priority in their busy schedule.

"We're there for each other," Deraps said.

When she lost Leon on May 6, 2006, in Iraq, Deraps said the Gold Star organization gave her the name of another Gold Star mother in Washington state. She was able to share with this mother in the early days of mourning.

"Until you lose a child, you don't know what goes through your heart and head," said Maureen Murphy, mother of Michael.

Having others with the exact same experience helps parents know they're not alone, said Cordell Axelson, father of Matthew.

"I have been so honored to meet with them," Deraps said. "We don't want the patrioticness to be lost or our guys to be forgotten.

"It's not easy being here at all. But it's important to let people know we miss them."

It's all part of a life-long healing process, said Donna Axelson, mother of Petty Officer 2nd Class Matthew Axelson.

All of these parents have invested themselves into special activities to remember their children and to share with others.

The Deraps family holds its annual Walk Run Ride the first weekend in May, because that's when Leon died. The event supports a scholarship at Jamestown High School, his alma mater.

"It's healing to give back and it's the only way we can get through that weekend," Deraps said.

Murphy has created a scholarship in honor of Lt. Michael Murphy, and she volunteers at the VA hospital.

The Axelsons helped create a veterans memorial in Cupertino, California, featuring a bronze sculpture naming the 20 men lost in Operation: Red Wings and pavers to honor all servicemen.

In addition to a scholarship at her son's high school, Cindy Dietz-Marsh, mother of Petty Officer 2nd Class Dan Dietz, works with at-risk youth.

"Danny was my oldest and a challenging teen; he was ornery," Dietz-Marsh said. "Our goal is to help other kids like that get back on track."

These mothers were escorted Thursday from Jefferson City to Cedron Cemetery by the Mid-Missouri Patriot Guard Riders.

Reed Hickam, senior ride captain, understands the loss of a child, though not from combat. And Hickam's first event with the Patriot Guard was at Leon Deraps' funeral.

"I remember that day vividly," Hickam said. "Families like this are what's keeping the United States up and running.

"I know their grief; I know this brings back hurt and memories. But we want them to know we'll never forget the sacrifice they've made for us."