Lewis Black reflects on being lonely at Christmas

"I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas" (Riverhead Books, $19.95), by Lewis Black

Comedian Lewis Black is famous for being angry. In his new book, "I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas," he goes after what would seem like an easy target for him: Christians at Christmas. But instead of his typical ranting without remorse, he's apologetic.

Black spends every Christmas reflecting on his lack of a family. Since his divorce, he hasn't trusted his taste in women. Christmas makes him think that he's failed because he doesn't have a loving wife and children. "So I lie there, supine, pondering my failure to create a life beyond my own."

After waking up and contemplating his loneliness, Black gets out of bed. He writes checks to various charities, always careful not to give too much away because of a fear that at any moment he could still lose everything. "My life always seems to be moments away from being ironic."

He then takes a long bath, thinking about his childhood holidays when he received nothing more than mismatched socks; how there were years when he was broke; and how he now feels guilty about drinking good wine and having nice sheets.

Black isn't someone who asks for forgiveness. He's built a reputation on being able to tear apart society, politics and religion in a fit of screaming rage thinly cloaked as a comedy routine. "Black Christmas," however, is packed with regret.

Black spends most of the book trying to justify what he's saying rather than saying it. "My editor thinks what I have here is "too discursive."'

He tries to be funny by showing readers how selfish he's become, but it comes off as sad.

Clearly, he wants a family, but concedes that it's too late.

"Black Christmas" is a story about the holiday season, but rather than being the smart comedy that readers might expect from Black, this one is depressing.

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Online:

http://www.lewisblack.com/